How firm and stable is your marriage? Here is a test.

How firm and stable is your marriage?

Here is a test.

Dr Abe V Rotor

This is a test for married people. Check the items that apply to you, or you agree with. You can take the test as a couple.

1. A natural clock governs every person in his system. This is often referred to as biological rhythm. Although there is a general plan on how this internal clocks works, no two persons are tuned in to the same pattern - not even husband and wife. Try to live by your own biorhythms and learn to adjust with those of our partner.

2. Recognize your moods and energies that change with the time of the day and night, with months and seasons.

3. Lovemaking is mutually fulfilling when both partners have synchronized biorhythms. Generally human body is dynamic that it can reset itself daily and adapt to the changes in the environment.

4. Sex can become monotonous especially with modern life. Many people find little time to express tender love with sex. They employ a number of ways to vary their sexual expression as not merely satisfying a desire, feeling relieved and exhausted afterward - or just for the sake of giving in to their partner. Many more miss the spiritual element of lovemaking, whereby the act is a means to sustain a passionate emotion from which follow exhilaration, and a great feeling of satisfaction.

5. Food, Rest, Exercise and Sunlight = Health (FRESH). This formula is easy to remember. Watch out for the food that you take. Eat health foods, and avoid those in the list of Don’t Eat which your family doctor gave you.

6. There is no substitute to adequate sleep. Maintain a healthy sleeping habit. Take a rest between heavy schedules, and avoid buildup of tension. Relax. Exercise regularly within your natural capacity. Do not over exercise. .

7. Sunlight perks you up, breaks monotony, and takes out the blues in your life. It makes us closer to nature, and takes us to outdoor adventure. All these make a happy love life with your partner.

8. Sexual expression is not restricted to estrus periods or seasons of the year. Humans have the ability to match their sexual desires with their moods and feelings. Hormones influence, but not dictate, sex life.

9. Meaningful spiritual love and emotional feelings multiply the ecstasy of physical pleasure.

10. A woman’s menstrual cycle dictates her sexual moods. They feel sexiest at the midpoint of their menstrual cycle.

11. There are people who are sexier in the morning than at night. There are also those who feel sexier in summer than during cool months, or vice versa.

12. There are times when men become sexier and this is indicated by rapid growth of their mustache and beard.

13. Studies show that the most active time for sexual activity is in the evening, but lovemaking at this time is poor since the androgens (love hormones) are low. (They are highest between 8 to 12 a.m., and lowest at 6p.m.) Evening is convenient to most working people. If this is not enough, make up for it during weekends.

14. Reduce meal size as the day progresses and avoid high calorie snacks in the evening. But do not skip breakfast or lunch. Carbohydrates help calm and focus the mind. Protein food boosts mental energy, but avoid fatty foods when you want to be mentally alert.

15. When planning out an active evening, like going to a concert, holding a party, or having a date, reduce your dinner, with protein food preferred over fatty and carbohydrates food. Coffee makes you awake, and drinking may delay your regular bedtime or makes you fall asleep. If you want to wake up refreshed and alert do not take alcohol in the evening before.

16. An enduring and fulfilling love life is one that shared together by husband and wife. Here are the basic elements essential to a lifelong relationship: trust and confidence, empathy (feeling with the other person), and marriage. (Sex outside marriage cannot remain meaningful and does not usually last.)

17. Stay in touch with your creative side. Use your right brain – the seat of creativity – more often. Let your left brain – the seat of reason – rest for a while. Paint, draw, write verses, sing.

18. Share your jokes with loved ones and friends. Laughing together is a great bonding experience. Start your lecture or talk with a joke. Diffuse the electric atmosphere. Break the ice, so to speak with humor.

19. Laugh together. Light up the years. Reinvigorate. You can be young again. It is in the heart. Make up for the lost time you should have been together as a couple. Have a date, perhaps a second honeymoon, now that the children are on their own.

20. Love grows with time, with every child born, in celebrating memorable occasions, through kindness on relatives and friends on both sides, in job promotion, building a home, traveling together, graduation of the children, having grandchildren – plus 1001 little goodness that brings in sunshine every day in your relationship.

NOTE: These are guidelines to a happy and enduring married life. They serve as checklist, too. Any negative answer or doubtful response needs analysis. Talk it out with your partner. Find out what is bothering you. You may need advice. Maybe you need to research and know more about love and marriage.

Reference: Philippine Herbs to Increase Sexual Vitality, Ontengco D, Del Rosario R and A Rotor

Lesson on former Paaralang Bayan sa Himpapawid (People's School-on-Air) with Ms Melly C Tenorio 738 DZRB AM Band, 8 to 9 evening class, Monday to Friday.